money your father and I spent on braces?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care what you've
discovered, you still should have written."
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Why can't you paint on walls like
other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off of
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "All right, if your're not hiding your
report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Again with the hat! Why can't
you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Next time I catch you
throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you
invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you
have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bed-time!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "But it's your senior
photograph! Couldn't you have done something with your hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER: "That's a good story! Now tell me where
you've really been for the last forty years!"